There seems to be some big secret in the universe that I am not in on. Other people, other women my age, seem to have a better handle and understanding on love and crap then I do. And I thought by the time hit my late 20s I would have things better figured out but I feel like I am nore confused then ever. So how do you know when you are in love? I have never been romantically in love and maybe that is my personal dysfunction. Maybe I don't let myself be, I don't know. There are men that I have cared about and that I might have fallen in love with had things gone differently but I just don't know how people figure out that they are in love. There were also men that I was never going to fall in love with. People always say "you just know". Is that true? I can't figure out what I want from life and I wish I had a more direct direction at this point in my life.
How Did You Know When You Were In Love?
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 Jersey Shortie |
How Did You Know When You Were In Love? |
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Posts: 5075 (11/04/09 15:36:26) political legwarmer |
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a lady now |
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Posts: 5429 (11/04/09 15:41:38) dirty girly |
Sounds like a question for the night show on 101.5!
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SteelyEyes |
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Posts: 6542 (11/04/09 15:46:02) leg curls give me chubbies |
I just did and do. You have to allow your emotions to be available and that means you're vulnerable to being hurt. It's a risk well worth taking.
I've been thrown from horses and stomped on, shattered a leg into over half dozen pieces skiing, gotten my nose nearly removed by the hind hoof a mule (luckily he wasn't wearing shoes), and a few other assorted things and the worst pain I ever had was losing a woman I loved. I'd do it all over again ten more times if I had to because the rewards are worth it. From what I see you're keeping your heart in a box with a lock on it. Maybe that's where Al Gore's lock box went after that campaign. Let the damn thing out so it can breathe. That's my take on it for what it's worth. |
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generalneyland |
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Posts: 10228 (11/04/09 16:16:52) married & disgusting |
I think it just happens. But you do have to be open and vulnerable. |
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mrnicexxx |
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Posts: 1993 (11/04/09 17:11:25) |
you'll feel it running down your leg.
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Tiglibud |
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Posts: 278 (11/04/09 17:26:46) |
Love...
Good subject... For myself, This is how 'i' define 'LOVE' 1. Love should never hurt. although, occasional fights might occur, and hurts happen...I am talking about that 'soul kinda hurt' the kind that 'never heals' ...not truly. 2. Love is wishing the other person is happy...always looking for ways and things to make them 'feel happiness' --sure, sometimes your lover will be sad, that is normal, and needed...to be a complete human...means having 'all' emotions...but, loving someone is wishing to attempt ...'attempt' ...full time happiness. 3. Your Lover should come to your defense, and you to his/her's ...no matter if they are wrong. --Your lover should know you will stand up for them. You can always tell them later in private that you did not agree, but that is privately kept then...between you and he/her. 4. Your lover should be first and foremost your best friend. 5. You should never tell your lover things that are 'cruel' ...like, ie. your stupid ...GOD! I hate that one! and finally... 6. When apart...you should be completely 'Faithful' to your love. ~Of course there's tons more...those are 'my' top 6~ OH...just fyi...that old saying...Love means never having to say 'sorry' is bullshit, imo. |
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Eyrie2001 |
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Posts: 3317 (11/04/09 17:36:11) the hottest lesbian
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I've been watching episodes of Battlestar Galactica lately :nerd and I liked it when Adama "If you think you are in love, you are. "
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Jersey Shortie |
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Posts: 5076 (11/04/09 17:36:50) political legwarmer |
Love is when a big Tiger mauls and eats you because that means you left yourself vunerable.
Sounds like a question for the night show on 101.5!I enjoy that show. |
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Joncon |
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Posts: 2465 (11/04/09 19:48:32) I sport moose knuckle |
I can't figure out what I want from life and I wish I had a more direct direction at this point in my life.West >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> you'll feel it running down your leg. 
I am in the "you just know" catagory. It just seems like human nature. How do you know when someone is skeevy? You just know. The first time I fell in love, it was the stereotypical love at fist sight. I was about 26 and she was 19 and one of the most beautiful women on the planet, seriously. The second time took a while. I remember the exact day when, after a couple of years of dating, I looked at her one morning and knew I was in love. Over the years she became the most beautiful woman in the world. Third time's a charm. |
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webbew |
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Posts: 614 (11/05/09 02:03:39) |
From my experience, it seems like you click with that person in a deeper way than you do with others. I remember when I met the woman whom I loved romantically
more than I've loved anyone else before or since. I was having lunch at the restaurant she worked at and was chatting with one of the other waitresses. I
found her to be a bit obnoxious, so I turned in the other direction to chat with the waitress whom I would up falling for. I don't know how to explain what
happened other than to say it was like a puzzle piece fell into place. The obnoxious waitress just seemed to fade into the wood work and we would up tallking
for quite some time. Asking her to meet me after she got off work seemed like the most natural and normal thing in the world. It didn't take us long to
become intimate, and when we were it was... again... like a puzzle piece fell into place.
Unfortunately, fate seemed to have a different plan for us other than being together. But that's OK. She seems happy in the life she has now and that's what's important to me. We're still friends who stay in touch vai the internet. |
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illegalsmile |
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Posts: 5254 (11/05/09 08:57:18) |
I think the first thing you need to understand Jersey is that the whole "love" experience is very different for different people. You have to be
careful measuring your feelings and the depth of those feelings against some "standard" or by other folks experiences.
Some folks dont get that "butterflies in the stomach" all twitterpated feeling. Some do. For some folks its just a "warm comfortable" feeling. A sense of peace and acceptance for and from their partner. For others it is a much more intense sense of thing. For ME... I knew I was in love when I realized that in each and every case, the well being and happyness of my partner was more important to me then was my own. Thats a very short version, and there is a lot more to it... but thats the basic answer I have for you. |
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Jersey Shortie |
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Posts: 5077 (11/05/09 11:19:40) political legwarmer |
For ME... I knew I was in love when I realized that in each and every case, the well being and happyness of my partner was more important to me then was my own. Thats a very short version, and there is a lot more to it... but thats the basic answer I have for you.That's really super sweet and special....I got a little misty-eyed. But that does happen pretty easily. |
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Crazeerunner |
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Posts: 4882 (11/05/09 11:56:48) Ask me how to
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I knew when I was laying in his arms, and I wanted to get as close as possible, as to almost "morph" into one person. Plus, I knew when I started
thinking "gee, I could see myself marrying this guy" (that never happens!).
And I got the typical "butterflies" when I am with him, or even thinking about him. There's more stuff, but that's the couple I could think off the top of my head.... |
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illegalsmile |
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Posts: 5256 (11/05/09 15:30:43) |
I think its also important to realize that just as people change over time... so does the love they share. I actually attribute the demise of many
relationships to a failure to understand this bit of info.
Either way you slice it... there is compatibility, and there is love. Perhaps they are the same church, but very different pews. I guess I can understand Jersey's position and her questioning it all now that she's in the "late 20 something" years. Unfortunately, the silver bullet answer is not something that time has clearly revealed to us old geezers. |
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Sassy Nation |
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Posts: 364 (11/05/09 18:53:10) |
i dated a lot of guys in my younger days. i don't think i was 'in love' with any of them except for one.
with him, time stopped. and i found myself thinking about him all the time. and yea, butterflies. and my eyes would light up when i saw him. been madly in lust several times too... but with hubs, it was love at first sight. he 'knew' i was the one for him. he just got a flash of 'this is my lover, my wife, my friend' when he saw me. so now, 14 years later...there's still the butterflies when i see him. and i think about him all the time. people touched on being vulnerable...yea...no one can hurt me like he can...and ditto for him. we can crush each other with one sentence. but being in love means not to abuse that trust. sure we screw up and say shit we didn't mean...but apologizing and working thru it is a must. you have to have something in common. this 'opposites attract' is bullshit..who wants to spend eternity with someone who has an interest that you don't like? and the sex must be awesome when you wanna marry someone...you don't want to be with someone who doesn't satisfy you.
Last Edited By: Sassy Nation
11/05/09 18:56:40.
Edited 1 times.
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Tiglibud |
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Posts: 279 (11/05/09 23:22:09) |
Sassy!
You always explain it so very well! Good stuff! I am going to remember it...yes I am! 
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webbew |
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Posts: 615 (11/06/09 21:27:36) |
he just got a flash of 'this is my lover, my wife, my friend' when he saw me.Sounds a lot like what I experienced. It really does happen in a flash. It's instant. There's no logical or coherant thought to the moment. It's completely instinctive. |
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 Shortblonde15 |
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Posts: 675 (11/07/09 00:55:23) parasite free |
I don't mean to be a cliche'. You just know. Before I met my husband, I dated some guy for 6 months, he wanted to give me the world. He wanted
to move where I wanted to move, he got involved in all my interests but he just didn't do it for me emotionally. He wanted to marry me and have kids.
It's just crazy, I did like him but I didn't love him and I just knew.
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kelsinut |
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Posts: 2025 (11/07/09 02:20:54) Neglected brown eye |
I knew when I didn't want to be with anyone else for the rest of my life.
Yeah, sappy. |
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TheRealSpencerB |
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Posts: 2804 (11/07/09 12:08:29) lint free or die |
Jersey Shortie wrote:Geez, JS, why don't you ask something of substance? 
I really can't tell you anything about this subject. I think what I thought was love, was just hard-core infatuation. I'm going to be 50 years old next year and have never been in love nor had someone love me. The reasons for this are way too long and complicated and only the last couple years of therapy have just scratched the surface of why I'm a failure romantically. I haven't let the inability to fall in love stop me from trying to live the best life that I can for myself. I think the key for you is to know what you want out of life and where you want to be in the future. I think as soon as you know you to the best of your ability, you'll know who you want in it. You may find that person, you may not, but you will not settle for less. I agree with most of the responses here that you just "know," without hesitation or doubt. Don't let your perceived inability cause you to question how you live your life -- just live it to the best, keep an open mind and let the pieces fall in place. |
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Hunterdonn |
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Posts: 118 (11/07/09 13:14:27) diarrhea |
I think people have to just make themselves happy and not be so dependent on the entire "I have to have someone in my life or I wont be complete Im a
loser without a SO" thing. If you do that, if you are looking too hard when you don't even know what you are looking for, you find the wrong people
because you think you need to have that "love" in your life.
The universe isn't going to do it for you, nor is there some cosmic rule you have to follow to be happy. You make yourself happy. You choose to date, choose to not date, choose to fall in love or not. You control your life, nobody else. The love part, that comes in when the timing is right. So many people force it these days, why do you think there are so many divorces? Thats about how it goes. As far as knowing, I know when I don't like leaving someone to go home and would rather be with them than not. When you just feel, like a missing piece of a puzzle is gone. It doesn't mean it will last forever or you suck at it if it doesn't, it just means you open your heart up to someone and they make you feel, ehhhhh... warm and happy inside. Ahhh love. |
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